yes this is actually a real human brain, well half of it. I touched it.
thanks to the colourlovers.com guys for a great party last night they brought in a professional photographer and created cuztomized colour palettes for people, check out my one and create your own one at http://colourlovers.com
photo credit Greg Hennes, www.ClutchCamera.com
This weekend was Startup School (thanks to Jessica and the YC team for organizing). The event was thought provoking in a different way for me this year. Usually it's a raw feeling of inspiration and wanting to build a successful startup so one day I can be a speaker and not an attendee. This time it left me more reflective. Differences in the talks this year were Tony Hsieh and Mark Pincus going into the psychology of why people start companies and Paul Graham talked about what startups are really like i.e. for the most part they're a brutal experience.
My motivations for doing my first startup were simple and mercenary. I wanted to get never-have-to-work again rich and thought a startup represented the best chance of achieving that goal. I didn't question that motive in any great depth. I'd never had much money growing up and the desire to be rich was hardwired in me since as far as I could remember. The time I spent on a startup was by far the most intense and stressful period of my life. I've now seen first hand just how hard building a business is and I've been around enough failed startups to confirm it. The net result of this is I can't use mercenary motives to justify doing another startup. My brain just won't let me delude myself on the chances of that outcome like it used to.
We were incredibly lucky to be in the group of first time entrepreneurs to get a profitable exit. It wasn't never-have-to-work again profitable but it significantly changed our financial positions. It still doesn't change the reality though. Startups are hard and big exits are rare. That's where my thinking was at before going into Startup School. In this context, these parts made me think the most: - Tony Hsieh presented an interesting thought experiment. Ask yourself what one of your goals is. Then ask why. Then ask why again and keep going. It should end with to be happy. We set goals and do things because on some level we think they will make us happy. He touched on the ideas presented in Stumbling on Happiness (a fantastic book I found via Kul) namely that although we do things because we think they'll make us happy, humans are notoriously bad at correctly predicting which things will actually make them happy.
Unless you're fortunate (or have a low bar for happiness, which is arguably in many ways a good thing), knowing which things and actions will make you happy is not a trivial exercise. It's something everyone should spend time thinking about but especially in the context of startups and founders, not enough of us do. There's so many external forces pushing us (peer pressure, societal expectations, family, circumstances, etc) that make it hard for us to listen to our inner voice when there's so much value to be had in doing so. - Mark Pincus talked about how even after selling a few companies and being successful he still had the desire to start another one. I spoke with Mark after his talk and he articulated why selling a company can be an anti-climax.
Once you sell, you reap the financial rewards but if it wasn't a product that really mattered to the world you're left with nothing to really show for it. That's what drove him to start Zynga - he wanted a product that really mattered to people. So far I've managed to distill two (very vague) motivations/goals that I want to optimize around for whatever I do next: - Work on something that positively impacts a significant number of people's lives. - Work with people who can improve me I'm curious to see where the thought process will take me. If anyone is/has been in a similar position, I'd be interested to hear about your experiences.
I had laser eye surgery last week and have repeatedly been asked about the process by people thinking of having it done. There's two types of laser eye surgery, Lasik and PRK. In a nutshell Lasik has a faster recovery time but isn't suited to people wanting to do contact sports e.g. martial arts. PRK takes longer to recover from but leaves the eye more structurally sound in the long term. I went for PRK. Cost was $2399 (CAD) - I think that's on the expensive side but the clinic I went to was highly recommended and I didn't think my eyes were something worth cutting costs on.
Week before procedure: You're not allowed to wear contact lenses for a week before the procedure.
Day before: Consultation where they check you're eligible for surgery. Nothing uncomfortable or invasive - just a vision test, looking at blurry images while they take pictures of your eyes and some eye drops to dilate your pupils.
The procedure: I was seriously nervous beforehand. I hate having people do anything near my eyes - it took me over an hour to put my first pair of contact lenses in. I was surprised by how easy the procedure actually was. You lie down, they put a clamp like thing to keep you from blinking but they wet your eyes so it's not actually (that) uncomfortable. Then they use drops to numb your eyes (slight sting but nothing much) and put a ring over your eye (you don't feel it). You're basically looking at a red light (given I was -5.5 in my left and -5.75 in my right eye it was a very blurry light). Then they pour a cold liquid into your eye. Doesn't hurt but it's pretty cool. Next they wipe your eye (they're removing a thin out layer that grows back by itself) and then the laser starts moving around and making noises. You can smell burnt hair which is pretty gross. This whole process takes about 2 minutes and once they're done the red light is no longer blurry. They then put a protective contact lens in the eye that you wear for 6 days. Process repeated for other eye.
Directly after surgery: Your eyes are still numbed so you don't feel anything in them. Everyone has different levels of vision after but mine was pretty clear - it wasn't 100% but pretty sharp. You're given three sets of eye drops, one you put in every 3 hours and 2 that you use three times a day. There's a final set you use if you have any pain.
Few hours after surgery: My vision stayed relatively clear but my eyes started stinging quite a bit and had some pain. Not a crazy unbearable amount but definitely a uncomfortable level. The pain killing eye drops are great, you can put them in and they instantly numb your eyes for 3 hours. I used them a couple of times that day. I was also super sensitive to any light. I tried to sleep as much as possible (advice given by doctor).
Recovery Day 1: I'll be honest, my eyes hurt quite a bit this day and I was getting freaked out. The pain killing drops are great but you're not supposed to overuse them as it can delay healing. Stuff I found that worked great was putting an ice pack over my eyes. Also you're given artificial tear drops you can use whenever. I chilled these in the fridge and then used them - helped a lot. I had a checkup at the clinic, they said everything was fine and the pain would go away. I slept as much as possible again and rode out the day. It's worth noting that not everyone has pain e.g. I know Kul said he didn't have any stinging but did have really dry eyes. Everyone reacts slightly differently.
Recovery Day 2: After waking up in the middle of the night to numb my eyes after they were stinging again, I woke up and found the stinging wasn't there. I kept icing and resting and got to lunchtime still without any stinging or need to use the eye drops. My vision was definitely blurrier (supposed to happen as the thing layer of your eye grows back). Made it until the evening without needing the pain killing drops.
Recovery Day 3: Eyes felt much better. I slept the whole night and there was no stinging at all. I kept icing a little anyway as I found it helped moisten my eyes a little but there wasn't any pain. Vision became progressively cloudier during the day.
Recovery Days 4 and 5: No pain. Vision was seriously cloudy on day 4 but became a little better by day 6.
Recovery Day 6: Eyes were feeling a little dry from the contact lens but no pain. The contact lens were removed. Felt a bit irritable at first, like having an eye lash in your eye but this only lasted for 15 minutes. I've heard from others this sensation can last for a few days but I was told my eyes had healed perfectly so it wouldn't last long. I'm pretty sure that sleeping a lot and not using a computer i.e. properly resting my eyes since the procedure really helped optimize my recovery.
Recovery Day 7: Woke up today with pretty sharp vision and eyes feeling good. I don't think I'm at 20/20 yet but I feel pretty close and every day they should get better. I now have one eye drop I use 5 times a day and a gel type thing I put in before I go to sleep. Next check up is at the end of the month. Touch wood my recovery continues going smoothly. Apart from the first two days everything has gone really smoothly and I'm really glad I had the procedure done. Not worrying about glasses or contact lenses is an amazing feeling.
This week I left my role as Director of Product at Live Current Media. I'm grateful to Live Current for having faith in the Auctomatic product and team and acquiring us last year. I've enjoyed the past 15 months but the time is right to move onto something new. For me that means moving back to San Francisco.
I've loved living in Vancouver, it's an amazing city and I've bonded with people here in a way I had never anticipated when I moved out here. I'll miss everyone a lot and leave behind a lot of amazing memories. However I always knew that at some point I'd move back to San Francisco. It's the best place to be as an entrepreneur and I'm looking forward to being back and getting sunk into something new. I've no specific plans about what I'll be doing next beyond knowing that I want to start another business.
This time around I've lost the naivety of a first-time entrepreneur, which is both a strength and weakness but leaning more towards the former. Having experienced the incredible stress of a startup I'm under no illusions about how hard building a business is but having had time to think about things, I honestly can't think of anything else I'd want to do. My first objective is to put a team together. If you're interested in working together and want to bounce some ideas around drop me a line. I'll be back in the Bay Area from 1st October.
P.S. For everyone in Vancouver, I'll throw a leaving party before I head off. It'll be less than a month after my moving in party. That must be some kind of record somewhere.
I don't want to write a tribute to Jools, I couldn't do better than this article so there's no point. Since I heard about his passing away, I keep thinking of the things he did for me without asking anything in return. I felt compelled to write them out in a list. This is it.
1. I met him on an online forum before I even started at Oxford. There were a lot of voices in my head telling me I wouldn't fit in and I should go somewhere else. At one point I seriously considering turning down my offer. He calmed me down and made me excited to start studying there.
2. He got me a quote in the Oxford Student during freshers week, pretty sure he made me the first fresher to be quoted and never mentioned it again.
3. Introduced me to the Oxford Majlis society, which is where I met some of my best friends to this day.
4. Pushed me to run for a position on the Merton JCR in my first year. I was too nervous because no one else in my year had run for a position yet. He convinced me that was irrelevant and was the first to congratulate me when I got it.
5. Told me about, and pushed me to apply for the Real World Graduate of the Year awards where I ended up as a finalist and won £1,000 which I desperately needed because I was as broke as fuck by that point. The press and kudos from that award has been a massive asset in my career ever since.
6. Gave me some ridiculously cheeky advice before my interview for the Graduate of the Year competition that I'm certain is the only reason I made it to the final. Only Jools could have thought of it.
7. Emailed us (me and Kul) the moment any new competitor to our first business venture, boso, appeared along with a full break down of everything he knew about how well it was doing and who was involved.
8. Got me personal press in the Evening Standard during my second year. I never asked him once to do that.
9. When our documentary about our startup went live on Channel 4, he edited out all the shit parts designed to make us look stupid and put up a new version on youtube which we then put up on the website to show our users, which helped us immensely. We never asked him to do that.
10. Told us that ibtalk.com was available for sale, we bought it for an absolute steal.
11. Probably read through and edited my CV and cover letters more than I did.
I'm pretty sure there are a bunch of other things I can't remember right now. Seems like something new comes into my head each day.
Whether you're a fan of boxing or not, whether you love or hate Mike Tyson, I would really recommend seeing the recent Tyson documentary. Mike tyson is a fascinating individual but one part of the documentary really stood out to me. Firstly though, take a second to just think about Mike Tyson. Despite all of the controversy and issues in his personal life, I think very few people would deny that he is one of, if not the, most naturally talented and devastating competitor in possibly the most demanding sport in the world. That's a pretty incredible achievement. The sad truth is, the majority of us (and the people we know) will never accomplish anything even remotely close to success on that scale. And yet in the documentary, Tyson describes what happened before his first fight.
I can't remember exactly what he said but the gist of it went "I was so scared of fighting, in my changing room I told my trainer I had to go to the store and get some things. I headed down to the store but I'd really intended to go to the train station. I didn't want to fight anyone, I thought I should just get on this train and get the f*** out of here and leave this people here". This is someone who will be remembered as a once in a lifetime, possibly once in history, boxer who had a level of ferocity and devastation that's never been seen before and he had so much self-doubt he almost didn't even step in the ring.
Then there's his fight with Buster Douglas, when he lost his belt in what was a massive upset (Buster was a 42 to 1 underdog to win that fight). In the documentary, Tyson admits that he didn't train especially hard or take the fight that seriously. He still trained (probably at a level that most of us couldn't handle) but just not as intensely as he usually would have and he got knocked out by a far less talented fighter.
In a television interview just after Tyson won his second belt, he talks about when he first started boxing. He talks about sparring and his first few times in the ring and says "I won a few, I lost a few". At some point, Mike Tyson, stepped into a boxing ring and was beaten by someone whose name we've never heard. One of the greatest fighters ever, was beaten by a no name at some point. But Tyson continued fighting. I bet most of us can think of a time where we tried something new, didn't get the hang of it straight away and gave up. I'm not saying if we tried harder we could all be Mike Tyson, I'm just saying that when you give up you destroy any chance you might have had of being great.
It's a more media-friendly story to dress people up as being child prodigies or naturally gifted in a way that makes them destined for success. It's more interesting to read about how David Beckham could curl a football from age 4 than it is to read about the countless extra training sessions and time he spent practicing, once his team mates had gone home, to become one of the greatest strikers of a football in history. It's more entertaining to read about Cristiano Ronaldo playing football on the streets of Portugal as a kid than it is to read about the time he spent in the gym building up his physique so he could be a complete footballer. There's also an ego element involved.
As humans it's more fulfilling for us to appear gifted or special in a way that others aren't rather than showing how hard we've had to work to achieve a level of ability at something. Thus the talent myth continues to be perpetuated. Obviously talent and ability is an important factor. I doubt that however many hours I spend practicing cricket that my poor hand eye co-ordination is going to allow me to be an international cricket player. But I know for a fact that if I spent one hour a day practicing, I'd become significantly better than I am right now.
There's a great quote from Hernan Crespo, an Argentinean football player, in which he compares himself to Batistuta (one of the greatest strikers ever) by saying something along the lines of "Batistuta is a born champion, to be at his level I have to work twice as hard and train twice as much". Crespo will never have the natural gifts that Batistuta had but with his work ethic, he still managed to command a world record transfer fee and score a lot of goals. The fact is that the limiting factor in most of us achieving our goals/dreams isn't a lack of ability or talent. It's that not enough of us have the determination to stick with something until we've mastered it. Right now there's probably a boxer out there who had the same raw ability as Mike Tyson but decided to get on that train and we'll never know his name.
